I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
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