actually, I'm a sock model
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
