Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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