3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
