Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
