oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Randomize
