I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
