I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
