when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
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