why didn't you poke me back
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
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