you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
