I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Randomize
