Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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