I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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