I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Randomize
