He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
