She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
