we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Randomize
