you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
