i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
