i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Floor bacon is actually really good
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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