"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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