Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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