hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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