all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Randomize
