I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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