Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
