Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
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