But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
