I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
