Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
