What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Randomize
