he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
