WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Randomize
