I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Randomize
