they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
