you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
