that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
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