It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Randomize
