how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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