Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
