Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
