so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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