I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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