There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
