apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
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