im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
