I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
