I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
