Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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