i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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