He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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